- Discover and share Famous Poker Quotes. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love.
- He lasted as long as a pint of whiskey in a five-handed poker game. 3 thoughts on “Old West Insults & Sayings” Tim Sherritt says: December 21, 2018 at 2:23 pm.
This is one of the most popular sayings in pokerand believed to have originated when Jack Straus won the 1982 WSOP Main Event after being left with a single chip. “All I did was eat, sleep, and breathe tournament poker and the results showed that.”.
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Quotes from poker’s greats can tell you a lot about the player, and also about the game itself. Take these legendary quotes to inspire your own game…
The Reigning Champ: Daniel Negreanu
The only person to be named WSOP player of the year twice, this Canadian champ knows a thing or two about poker.
Global Poker Index called him the player of the decade, and we’re inclined to agree. He has earned more than any live tournament player – $32,315,816!
This famous quote shows his prowess at the poker table.
The Brat: Phil Hellmuth
Known as “poker brat”, Hellmuth is widely known for his temperamental attitude at the table.
Once the youngest player (at 24) to win the WSOP Main Event, he beat the great Jackie Chan to claim his victory.
Renowned for having a big head, this great but cocky quote perfectly demonstrates his attitude towards the game!
The Upstart: Dutch Boyd
Dutch Boyd is the youngest at our table of poker player quotes.
Inspired by the poker film Rounders, Boyd played poker round the clock while studying Law at university. His controversy and turbulent lifestyle have given him a wild-card reputation in poker circles. This cocky quote shows exactly what he thinks of his fellow players.
The Celebrity: Matt Damon in Rounders
This quote has been interpreted several different ways, but for most people it is associated with one of the greatestpoker movies ever.
Matt Damon’s epic portrayal of Mike McDermott in Rounders had millions of poker fans convinced they could be the next Jackie Chan.
‘The Kid’: Stu Ungar
First dubbed ‘The Kid’, and then ‘The Comeback Kid’, Ungar is the definition of living life fast and loose.
Thought of as the best poker and gin rummy player of all time, Ungar’s bright talent perished. Spending all his winnings on drink and drugs, Ungar died aged 45.
His legacy lives on, and here’s his ultimate famous quote which sums up his feelings about losing!
The Mob Boss: Benny Binion
A Las Vegas icon, supposed mob boss Benny Binion was famed for founding the World Series of Poker in the 1970s.
As reputed as he was for his knowlege as as a casino owner, he was also feared. Theft, illegal weapons and two murder convictions are on his list!
However many acquaintances regarded him as “either the gentlest bad guy or the baddest good guy you’d ever seen“.
The President: Richard Nixon
This last one the is ultimate quote for fans of history and poker alike. A poker player himself, President Nixon was no stranger to the poker table.
In a private interview, Nixon admitted based on events that occurred during the Cuban missile crisis, his Russian counterpart Nikita Kruschev would have been “a superb poker player”.
This top poker quote show that only a truly skilled bluffer can appreciate a good bluff.
Do you know any other great poker quotes? List them in the comments section below or continue broadening your poker intellect with betting on college sports!
Looking for a quick comeback or insult? Here are a few from the Old West sure to get the job done.
A Mean Cowboy
MEAN/ANGRY
He was mad enough to swallow a horn-toad backwards.
He’s so mean he’d steal a fly from a blind spider.
He was so mean, he’d fight a rattler and give him the first bite.
He was mean enough to steal a coin off a dead man’s eyes.
He made an ordinary fight look like a prayer meetin’.
When I’m done with you, there won’t be enough left of you to snore.
He was mean enough to eat off the same plate with a snake.
He was so mad he could bite himself.
He was mean enough to hunt bears with a hickory switch.
UGLY
He was uglier than a new-sheared sheep.
He has teeth so crooked he could eat corn on the cob through a picket fence.
His face was puckered like wet sheepskin before a hot fire.
Her face looks like a dime’s worth of dog meat.
He was ugly as a burnt boot.
He was so ugly he had to sneak up on a dipper to get a drink of water.
He looked like the hindquarters of bad luck.
His lip hangs down like a blacksmith’s apron.
She’s so ugly, she could back a buzzard off a gut-wagon.
He looks so bad his ears flop.
She’s so ugly, she’d make a freight train take a dirt road!
He’s as ugly as homemade sin.
She’s so ugly she could bluff a buzzard off a meat wagon.
CRAZY
He was crazy enough to eat the devil with horns on.
He’s kinda off his mental reservation.
His intelligence shore ain’t at this camp.
He’s as crazy as popcorn on a hot stove.
He is as crazy as a sheepherder.
Somebody stole his rudder.
He’s crazier than a run over coon.
He’s studying to be a half-wit.
STUPID
His brain cavity wouldn’t make a drinkin’ cup for a canary.
He couldn’t teach a hen to cluck.
He knows as much about it as a hog does a hip pocket in a bathing suit.
His knife’s so dull it wouldn’t cut hot butter.
He don’t know dung from wild honey.
If all his brains were dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow his nose.
He couldn’t cut a lame cow from a shade tree.
He couldn’t track an elephant in snow.
He was so dumb he couldn’t drive nails in a snowbank.
He’s as dull as dishwater.
He don’t know any more about it than a hog does a sidesaddle.
He is plumb weak North of his ears.
He can’t tell skunks from house cats.
He had a ten-dollar Stetson on a five-cent head.
His family tree was a shrub.
He couldn’t track a bed-wagon through a bog hole.
He didn’t have nuthin’ under his hat but hair.
He couldn’t hit the ground with his hat in three throws.
He was as shy of brains as a terrapin is of feathers.
He can’t tell skunks for house cats.
SKINNY/FAT
He is so thin he could take a bath in a shotgun barrel.
If he closed one eye he’d look like a needle.
He is so fat, you’d have to throw a diamond hitch to keep him in the saddle.
He is built like a snake on stilts.
HAPPY
He was grinnin like a weasel in a hen house.
He’s as pleased as a pup with 2 tails.
He’s grinnin like a jack ass eatin cactus
She was as chipper as a jaybird.
He was grinnin’ like a baked possum.
LAZY
He’s as slow as molasses in January.
He’s too lazy to yell “Sueee” in a pig pen.
He moves as slow as a crippled turtle.
He’s so lazy, molasses wouldn’t run down his legs.
LIES/CROOKED
He’s so crooked, he could swallow nails and spit out corkscrews.
He told lies so well a man would be a fool not to believe them.
He’s as crooked as a dog’s hind legs.
He’s lyin’ like a rug.
VOICE/SINGING
His voice sounded like someone forgot to grease the wagon.
His singin’ was enough to make a she-wolf jealous.
He punished the air with his singing.
He had a voice like a burro with a bad cold.
OTHER
Famous Poker Sayings
He didn’t have manners enough to carry guts to a bear.
He couldn’t hit a bull’s rump with a handful of banjos.
He was as drunk as a fiddler’s clerk.
She’s as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
He’d been in the desert so long, he knew all the lizards by their first names.
He ain’t fit to shoot at when you want to unload and clean yo’ gun.
His mustache smelled like a mildewed saddle blanket after it had been rid on a sore back hoss three hundred miles in August.
He was grittin’ his teeth like he could bite the sites off a six-gun.
It was so dry the bushes followed the dogs around.
He’s as dead as a can of corned beef.
He’s as welcome as a rattlesnake at a square dance.
This saloon’s so bad, a rattlesnake’d be ashamed to meet his mother.
He lasted as long as a pint of whiskey in a five-handed poker game.
She’s as pretty as a speckled pup.
Famous Gambling Sayings
He is as poor as a church mouse.
He’s as rich as possum gravy.
He was as popular as a wet dog at a parlor social.
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Famous Poker Quotes And Sayings
Compiled and edited by Kathy Weiser/Legends of America, updated February 2020.
Famous Poker Sayings
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